Filtering by Tag: #inspre

for the ladies

This morning I woke up feeling super confident, accomplished, excited, I Am Great!! I had used the weekend just as I had planned. I set specific goals and STUCK all the way to them.  Well, all but one. While away I was to start and finish a specific book, rewrite my Dream, Vision, and Mission. After this was done I was to write out my daily habits that I would remove, change and add to my routine, set a large goal then chop it up into smaller more reasonable goals, and then I was to plan out my calendar through February. I was supposed to take a walk on the beach, listen to the waves, pray, meditate, listen, gather my thoughts, relax, pop some popcorn and watch a movie and enjoy time alone. Sounds awesome, seems easy.......well there were a FEW speed bumps along the way, but I made it!

Speed Bumps

I planned to leave at 12:30 sharp. I backed my little car in a parking spot so that I could run in and prepare to leave for the day. Suddenly I feel something funny. Did I just hit the curb?? Not only did I just rub against the curb, I braised against a small pile of crumbled cement which punctured my tire! I was almost upset, then I thought, IT,S VACATION DAY, you have AAA, givem a call and lets go! That's just what I did. With a smile on my face I quickly dialed up the number and requested assistance. YES!!...,no. When the gentleman asked me to move my car over just a bit, it would not start. Ok my spirits are still up. It's just the battery, he can give me a jump. At this moment I didn't care if I had to buy a new one for a quick fix. However, it was not the battery. An hour later the car is being towed away. I'd soon find out I needed a new starter.  Still I return to work, chin up, i'll just drive the other car. No matter what I am going, and it is going to e great!  I call an Uber, picked up my truck, grabbed my bags and HOORAY!!!I AM OFF!!. Only to get through the tunnel, get a phone call stating that I have unfinished business that needs immediate attention. Ok my excitement just jumped out of the window, like ALL THE WAY OUT!! I find an exit, turn around, and look at the traffic I will now be sitting in.  I finally get back on my side, sign my name and once again, I'm off,...again. Five hours later than expected I have arrived, let the real adventure begin.

I check in, sit, stand, open the door, listen to the waves and calm down. Where shall I start. After i'm settled I spread out my books, study papers and all i'll need for this weekend. Then, lol, leave the room. It's time to eat.  I decide I will start fresh in the morning. 

Over the last four days I was able to clear my mind, say hello to my mom, thank God for life and meet each goal i had set out to meet except completing my calendar.  When I returned home I had a meeting, did some outreach, prayed for a friend, spent time with my kids, baked a pie, prayed and tucked them and said, "I WILL NOT ACCEPT DEFEAT!" The weekend is not over and I will accomplish EVERY GOAL than I said I would! I pulled out my two planners and my phone and went to work. After writing out all I wanted on my calendar, I closed my eyes, placed my hand on the paper,  and asked for God's approval, guidance, and strength..12:01. Not bad

In conclusion, my weekend experience was great! However, I chose to look at the experience as a FAIL because I did not accomplish one thing on my list. Yes, in the end I did push through and get it done, but how could I be so upset, saddened, and defeated? Could I have not been proud of myself for all that I did get done? Then after accomplishing the goal I wake up eager to share and think, well, maybe not. I don't want others to think I'm being braggadocious, why would they care about my weekend, what is this really to share? This weekend I read, "women have a tendency to underestimate their potential, are more likely than men to underestimate their abilities and speak with less confidence about their accomplishments". 

Well ladies now you know! and you are responsible for all new knowledge.  Use it wisely.  I shared my weekend success, now it's your turn!  What makes you successful, what goals did you accomplish, what speed bump did you get over?  It does not have to be a massive to do.  All that matters is that you did it, you got it done. And for that, you are GREAT!


Forgiveness is hard, but goes a long way

Forgiveness is hard but goes a long way

I have witnessed the effects of separation and divorce on children. I have spoke to clients and observed the hurt their unit has suffered from their experience with separation and divorce.  As a child of divorce I have experienced this hurt, pain and confusion first hand.  As a divorcee I've learned that the pain that comes along with this territory is a pain that can be mended with forgiveness and little love for self and our children. Selfishness the opposite of love. Love is open selfishness is closed.  Some parents allow the hate, and hurt of separation and divorce to cause bitterness, resentment, the want for revenge which in turn causes the person and the children additional pain.  If we can take the focus off of ourselves and place it on the child we are raising, or if we take the focus off the pain of the situation and WILL forgiveness, we can heal and move forward. -Love covers a multitude of things. You are enough, you are needed, you are loved. Just because they did not love you or one area of your life did not go as planned life does not have to stop. Never stop living, as long as there is breath in your lungs there is purpose in your life! So, take a breath (time to get self together), Forgive (them and yourself), evaluate your situation (find the lesson), remember who you are (there is greatness inside of you), encourage yourself and move forward.
We hinder our growth and progression when we play the winning game and refuse to forgive. FORGIVENESS IS  HARD, BUT we need to learn n move forward. If we don't forgive we can't be forgiven. When we don't forgive we can become stuck in a moment, we can go on living but this unforgiveness is now a wired trigger in you brain. We hurt ourselves and in the case of separation and divorce, children are hurt the most. They see, they protect, they choose. You can talk all day but most children are in pleasing mode and provide feedback accordingly.
Life will be what life will be.  We will have our own views and perspectives as to how things happened; and even expect the other person to be ok with it. So, what do we do, how do we move forward?
What to do
Live, Listen, and Learn in order to move forward and set a better example.  Forgive and move forward (Forgiving does not mean the other person wins or you allow them to continuously mistreat you). Healing happens in a forward movement. Applying the past as a healing ointment to unveil a beautiful future. Remaining in a state where we refuse to forgive due to lack of closure, hurts and pain causes continued pain, breaking and dismemberment. In the end we cannot be a whole person. Broken pieces can only offer a broken piece. If I am not whole I cannot offer all of me to my child, family, friends, SELF.
In the end we have all been forgiven, some, for more than we are refusing to forgive. Who are we not to Forgive?
Bless your enemies. Don't pay evil 4 evil. Live in peace. Don't avenge self, God's got u. Be not overcome w evil, but overcome evil w good. Rom 12:17-21
Grow, Gain, Get better